Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Juan Real Jerkface

Ok, I know that we are supposed to think that our Bachelors all hung the moon. And normally, I can jump onto that bandwagon pretty easily. The only time I really despised a Bachelor was when it was Jake Pavelka. Just saying his name causes me to throw up in my mouth a little. But now, Juan Pablo is really starting to rub me the wrong way (sorry, was that too explicit for Cameeeela???).

Although it happened towards the end of the episode, I am going to jump right into the Clare situation. During the group date she was on, Juan Pablo took her to his suite during their personal time so that they could set a good example for Cameeeela in the pool. After the group date, Clare returned to Juan Pablo's suite to ask him if he would like to "swim in the warm waters" of the ocean with her. He showed no hesitation and changed into his swimsuit so quickly, Superman would have been proud. The frolicked into the ocean and proceeded to.....? The audience was basically led to believe that they experienced the physical act of amor.

Cut to the cocktail party (after his date with Nikki and time with other women), and Juan Pablo is thinking that his 4am romp with Clare was a bad idea in retrospect. Here is where Juan Uh-Oh gets jerky. He pulls Clare aside to just let her know that he thinks it was terrible idea and unfair to the other ladies. Oh, by the way, he has a daughter. Clare rightly freaks.

Don't Look at Me!
Here is the thing, if he is regretting the romp, then fine. He could regret it all on his own, tell the confessional cameras that he wasn't going to have anymore outings like that for now. What was the point of making Clare feel badly? Last time I checked, he was the one with the daughter, not Clare. He had the opportunity to NOT go on the romp, but he chose to anyways. It seems like he is not taking responsibility for his own actions, but putting them all on Clare. Nothing was accomplished by his conversation with her, other than making her feel terrible about herself (and, hopefully, po-ed at him).  It was unlikely that anything was going to happen like that again, but if she did decide to come to his room again in the middle of the night in the future, he could tell her then that he decided to cool things. Juan Uh-oh appeared very condescending during that whole exchange. I want to like him, I really do. I keep hoping that every time he aggravates me that it is just due to the language barrier, but I am beginning to think that is not the case.

Otherwise, he had good dates with Renee and Nikki, both of whom I like a lot. Renee seems sweet. Again, it was aggravating for Juan Pablo to pull the whole - I am not going to kiss her because we have kids thing. It just seems hypocritical since he is kissing all of the others (including Cassandra who has a kid). It's like Juan Pablo just randomly decides when he is going to have misplaced morals. Be consistent dude. But, Renee finally got her kiss at the end of the episode, and I was happy for her. P.S. I feel like she was not thrilled about her dress that was specially made for her on her date.

Poor, poor Nikki. It is not enough that Juan Pablo made her dance like a jacka** in front of thousands of people dressed like a bratz doll, now he is insisting that she lower herself slowly via a rope into a hellish, dark cave. After her panic attack, she managed to repel down, especially after receiving a magical curing smooch from Juan Pabs. They had some good conversation, and she talked about her job, which obviously just endeared her to me more. However, I think her expectations for dinner conversation were low. In her confessional time she talked about how amazed she was that Juan Pablo asked her about her job and how much that meant to her. To me, that is pretty standard first date material (i.e. Tell me about what you do for a living). If he would have asked her her middle name, she would have been ready to marry him on the spot.

The ladies were all jelly of Clare during the group date, but Chelsea wisely noted it was just because he seemed to like her more than anyone else. Andi, the lawyer, (who I also like) was PO-ed about not getting a One on Juan this week, and just generally feeling pooped out about being there. Normally, I roll my eyes about this, but I can see her point. She seems like a catch! But she was put to ease instantly when Juan Pah-blo said to "truuust meeee."

The three gals who were eliminated surprised absolutely no one. At this point, I think that Andi is the only one remaining who has not received a One on Juan, so that has to happen next week (and it looked that way from the previews.) And where is our Two on Juan date??? Are they not having one this year!? Shenanigans!  

Hopefully Juan Pabs will redeem himself to me next week! But, I don't know if I can forgive him so soon. I have a son, you see, and I have to set a good example for him.



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