Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Bienvenidos a Miami!

God I miss the 90s. Remember when Will Smith was just bouncing in the club where the heat was on and all night on the beach till the break of dawn? Those were the days.

ANYWAYs, sorry I didn't do my thoughts on last week's episode. I had a busy morning at work, and to be honest, I thought it was a sort of boring ep. Except for the part where they flung poo on each other (obvi). Is there anything more hilarious and sexy than a feces fight?!?! (Answer: No).

This week, Sharleen gets the first date. She was happy to get it, because she felt she needed the time to really determine whether she should stay on. As we all know, she decided to leave. I think she has had doubts from the beginning, and it was smart of her to trust her gut and leave before the hometowns. We do NOT need another break up on the pier of doom a la Des and Brooks. That being said, I am confused as to why she didn't discuss her doubts with J.P. during their actual date. I mean, I get that apparently she had a hard time sustaining any convo at all between all the face sucking, but it seems to me that she might have at least expressed her concerns to J.P. to see what he had to say about it. But, maybe it didn't matter what he had to say. Which isn't a bad thing, maybe she just thought it would be there if it was there. And what wasn't there, according to Sharleen, was a "cerebral connection." Bless her heart! I could have told her that before this season even started! Juan Pabs would be an awesome fling for Sharleen on an extended Miami vacation while she is on furlough from Germany, but he isn't her long haul guy.

Nikki got the second date, which ended up being a trip to Cameeeela's dance recital. Nikki got to meet J.P.'s rents and the dreaded ex. And Cameeeeeela, of course. My first instinct at learning this information was to feel woefully sorry for Nikki on her choice of outfit. Had she known she would be attending a children's recital and meeting important members of J.P.'s fam, I have to think she would have not chosen hoochie shorts, a very cleavage-y flowy top, and a kimono style robe/jacket. Poor thing - she was probably thinking - OH! I will break out my "edgy" super casual clothes for hot Miami! However, she put on her big girl pants (metaphorically, of course) and jumped right into the situation. Things seem to be civil between JP and his ex, which is good, even if the ex did not seem to be throwing somersaults at Nikki's presence. Later, Nikki and JP went to the Marlin' 'stadium and talked and kissed and stuff.

On the group date, nothing really happened with Renee or Chelsea, and Clare and Andi both cried. I thought it was hilarious that Andi told the camera that JP had never really seen that side of her before, because this was literally the third time (just off the top of my head) that JP has talked her off an emotional whiny ledge. (Not that I don't like Andi, I do, it was just funny). Clare had tears due to her father, which was touching, even if Clare is not my fav. I can't believe she is the youngest of six daughters. That will be an interesting hometown! When JP gave the rose to Andi, Clare was PO-ED. Instantly, her appearance went from self-assured and happy to frazzled, mad, and slightly crazy. She was obviously spoiling for a fight when she got back to the hotel, and Nikki was her eventual target.

You all know, that I hate the Nikki-hate! First off, it was annoying when Chelsea said that "Nikki is soooo negative," when Nikki made jokes about hoping she wasn't going to dance on her date. It was a joke, she was grinning the whole time, she obviously wasn't actually complaining.

Now, to address the Clare/Nikki showdown. LOVED IT. Super funny. Clearly, Clare was the dumbass here. She was mad about not getting the date rose, and essentially taking it out on Nikki. When the three gals got home, they called for Nikki to come downstairs. She did. They told her about their date and what it bummer it was. She said ok, and that they were acting weird. Which they were. Clare was like - I am just not going to be fake about it. And then she said - I guess Andi just needed that reassurance. Now - this statement was clearly a set up to get started talk about JP giving Andi the date rose. Second, the statement assumes that the date rose should have actually gone to someone else and that JP must not really like Andi all that much. Nikki said - That's so stupid and just left the room.

I don't think that that response was horrible. Andi and Nikki are clearly close, and she didn't feel like listening to Clare debate why Andi shouldn't have received the date rose. But Clare wanted to fight, so she followed Nikki upstairs. Nikki explained that she saw the way the convo was going and didn't want to be a part of it. Clare said that she wasn't talking sh*t about Andi - OK fine. Nikki was honest with Clare - hey we are never going to like each other, so let's just leave it. But Clare was doing that insane thing that people do in fights sometimes by refusing to leave. I thought it was hilarious when Nikki told her she could excuse herself. I am with Nikki on this one, that was clearly Nikki's sleeping space, and Clare should leave if Nikki alone if she asks her to.

To absolutely no one's surprise, Chelsea went home. I cannot WAIT until next week because I NEED to know what happens in the fantasy suite that has Andi so mad! I also cannot wait to meet Clare's "big crazy family," "because she didn't get crazy all on her own." Tee hee.

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