Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Heart and Seoul!

So Juan Pah-blo whisked the ladies away to Seoul, South Korea last night. I have never seen a group of ladies get as excited as they were when Hare broke the news of the trip. It was seriously like that SNL skit of Oprah where they just found out they were all getting new cars and start tearing each other's arms off due to over excitement.

I am going to address the question that I know is on everyone's minds, but was left completely unaddressed by the show. What happened to Molly while Kelly flitted off to South Korea? I imagine her in the mansion solo, lounging by the pool, peeing on the carpet, and thanking her lucky doggy stars that all of the rift raft was gone.

So there were two group dates and one Juan-on-one date. It seemed pretty clear from the beginning of the episode that there were trying to paint Nikki as the b*tch of the season, but I have loved her since the first episode. I stubbornly refuse to change my opinion that she is awesome. I don't care how much they try to change my mind. You see, she is a pediatric nurse, and I have a soft spot in my heart for them. My best friend is one (actually she is a fancy cardiac NICU like nurse practitioner or something, but still, babies), and the nurses that took care of Ben in the NICU were basically like angels to me. So when I saw Nikki taking care of tiny babies in the premiere, I decided she was the best. Plus, isn't she the cutest?

So, they begin by showing Nikki sort of being pouty about being on the group date, but hey - who wouldn't be pouty? The girls on her date did seem pretty annoying. And she faked it well. And THEN they showed her being sort of pouty about being on the crazy weird dancing date. But really, I do NOT blame her at all for this. I would have been mortified. And again, she managed to fake it well AND be funny about it during her interviews. But then the kicker was when she started talking about Kat to the other girls when Kat was on her Juan-on-one time. But that doesn't bother me either! Let's all stop pretending that we are perfect angels that don't talk about people sometime! First off, you can tell that she was prompted by someone when she started it. Second, it wasn't that bad! She just said that she thought Kat was here more to have fun or something. (I forget). But it is not like she called her a giant ho-bag or anything. Also, Kat was pretty annoying during the whole dancing part. But then, of course, the other ladies basically thought Nikki was the devil after that. But guess what suckers???? She got the rose!

Sharleen's date. Yawn. I don't know what to make of her. I find her a bit pretentious. I don't hate her, I just don't like her that much. I don't really have much to say about her date. I guess it was good that she was honest with Juan Pah-blo about the kids thing.

During the second group date, Juan Pah-blo decided (out of nowhere) that he was going to not kiss any girls because "he has a daughter." Last time I checked, he had a daughter when he was making out with Sharleen on a football field, with Claire in a hot tub, with Andi in a hot dog stand, with Cassandra (who is probably closer to Camila's age) in the kitchen, upside down with Chelsea, and with other girls that I have forgotten. Look, I don't care if he kisses the gals or not, BUT I find it weird to just decide a third of the way through to set boundaries. Now, I might not have found it so weird if he explained it better or if he stuck to it, but he did neither of those things! How cringe-worthy was it when poor what's-her-name asked for "un beso" and Juan Pah-blo denied her??? I was *dying.* Now, I am not saying that he should have kissed her just to kiss her. I sort of respect that he didn't. But he should have explained himself better AND actually followed through on what he said he was going to do. Instead, he just came of as sort of a flaky jerk.

On a side note, I like Andi. Plus, she seems to be good pals with Nikki. On a side side note, I find Claire annoying. It is sort of a pet peeve of mine when they show people freaking out at the local food. I find it sort of disrespectful to the locals. Also, it was octopus - that is no big deal. OH! And I cannot forget to talk about the horrible tiny fish eating dead skin. UGH. I have a bit of a phobia of small things in large quantities. It is a little hard to explain. BUT, those fish did it to me. I basically was hyperventilating a little bit while hiding behind my hands waiting for that scene to end.

At zeee rose ceremony, Nikki was painted as the villain, yet again, because she wanted to spend time with Juan Pah-blo even though she already had a rose. This situation happens every season. A rogue rose-holder bucks all thoughts of courtesy and dares to take up the Bachelor's time even though there are other girls who NEED that time and are ON THE LINE. My first thought is always - does the Bachelor have no control over their own time? For instance, Juan Pah-blo could have cut his time with Nikki short, and said "Thank Sweet Thang. I want to spend more time with you soon, but I have to talk to a couple of these yahoos so they know that I have really thought through my decision." For the most part, I usually agree that the rose holders should step back though. BUT my undying loyalty to Nikki made me change my mind this time. Plus, she cut Claire's time, so no biggie.

Poor what's-her-name and Elise got cut. Elise made it sound like she was leaving her own personal hell because of the "mean girls." (The cameras cut to Nikki). Which fine, but wasn't she JUST talking sshhhhiz about Chelsea last episode? I really felt for what's-her-name. She really regretted asking for "un beso" and cried "I always make mistakes!" It was heart-breaking. Don't worry girl! You're cute and young! You have your life ahead of you! Have a margarita with the girls and just have fun for a while! (But maybe stop trying to hit on guys with your piano bicycle).

Peace out folks!

p.s. I just read over my post and realized I forgot to put something in here about Kelly's comment re: Claire and the octopus, "I *know* you have swallowed things bigger than that." Hilarious. Kelly also stirred up trouble between Claire and Nikki at the rose ceremony. She is a trouble-maker, and I love it.

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