Monday, July 22, 2013

This Post is Gonna Be Legend-WEIGHTforit-Scary

YIKES. I am going to talk about my weight. What it is now, what it used to be, and what I want it to be in the future. This is pretty scary, because I am cagey about telling my exact weight to anyone (even Dan). In fact, as I am writing this, I am wondering whether I am going to lie on this post just a tiny bit. Like just a pound or two. But I won't! So why in the hell am I even doing it? My motivation for writing this post is: (1) I think weight loss is something all new/new-again moms are interested in and (2) if I tell the world my weight, perhaps I will be a bit more motivated to say no to that cupcake next time.

When I graduated from college, I weighed about 150. For the record, I am 5'8". My sister was doing Weight Watchers, and she inspired me to do it as well. We were living together for the majority of the summer, and it was awesome. It was actually easy to lose weight when I was 22 years old, had nothing else to worry about, and had someone doing it too for support, etc. My sister would actually do most of the meal planning. It was honestly the best. When I started law school in the fall, I was down to 122, which is the lowest weight I have ever been and ever will be. That is when I met Dan. Poor bastard. He thought he was snagging a skinny girl.

This is me when I graduated college.
Just kidding. I'm actually 40 weeks PG here.
There was no way I could maintain the 122, especially without my personal trainer/chef/best friend/motivator sister living with me. However, I stayed in the lower to mid 130s throughout law school, and was relatively happy with that weight. When I moved to D.C., I trimmed up a little more just from walking around the city, working out more (we were members of a gym), and I went vegan for a time. By the time we got married, I was about 128, and feeling great!

Then it all went downhill. Physically, I mean. Otherwise, I was very happy. Dan and I got Shelby, and very soon after we got married, we bought a house in the burbs. This all equaled a weight gain for me. I wasn't walking to work anymore or going to the gym immediately after work. I also could not stop eating the way I did on our honeymoon, which was whatever I wanted all of the time. I would go through periods where I would lose some weight, but by the time I got pregnant with Ben, I weighed 142.

I feel like I should mention at this point that Dan kept getting thinner after we got married. It was like I gained every pound he lost. His weight loss was because he started doing marathons after we moved to DC. He also gave up most dairy and alcohol to help with his training and some stomach issues. I was tricked! I thought I was marrying an on-the-trim-side-of-average weighing man. What I got was this insanely fit thin guy. UGH.* So the crazy person in me feels like if Dan loses weight, I am in comparison bigger. I keep hearing the line from the JT song - I couldn't get any bigger, with anyone else beside of me! It's like he's my mirror. A-whoa-oh. (p.s. How self-centered is JT? "You reflect me, I love that about you?" Geez.)

Of course, if I were happy with myself, it wouldn't matter if Dan actually weighed negative pounds. But that is neither here, nor there.

I gained about 28 lbs during my pregnancy, putting me at about 170 when I gave birth. I was actually "lucky" that I had one of those pregnancies with the terrible heartburn and weird stomach stuff. Different foods did not appeal to me (like Mexican, which is normally a fav!), and I couldn't let myself get too full. And I still managed to gain 28 lbs. If I would have had a different pregnancy, I probably would have gained so much more. At the time, I hated it. Now, I am thankful.

After I had Ben, the weight came off pretty quickly. I felt this false sense of security. Like I could eat whatever I wanted, and still lose weight. After about a month, I actually started gaining weight back. What the what??? I was breastfeeding non-stop. Didn't the celebs say I could breastfeed, eat whatever I wanted, and still lose weight? THE LIES!

So, right now I weigh (DRUM ROLL) 146.5 lbs. About 4 and a half lbs. from where I was before I was pregnant. However, I would like to be thinner than I was when I got pregnant. I want to be my old self. My goal is to lose about 15 lbs. How am I going to do it? Seriously. Tell me how please.

Throughout the years, I have gone back to weight watchers. Usually, I would do it online. But it just wasn't ever the same without having my sister with me. I actually managed to lose about six pounds before I got pregnant with Ben by tracking my calories on the My Fitness Pal app on my iPhone. (I had gained a bit more weight then due to a pregnancy that ended in an early miscarriage). So my plan is to try My Fitness Pall again. It's free (if you don't count my cell phone bill), and pretty easy to keep track of. The complicating issue is breastfeeding. I have to find that magic number of calories that gets me to lose weight, but not diminish my breast milk production.

By crunching numbers, I came up with 1800 calories a day. I looked up various online calculators (here and here) to get the number of calories I burn in a day basically doing nothing. That number is about 1700. I read that a person burns up to approximately 500 calories a day breastfeeding. I feel like that is the upper end, so I factored 350 calories burned from breastfeeding. That puts my daily calories burned at 2050. If I keep to 1800, that puts me at a negative of 250 calories a day. There are 3500 calories in a pound. That means I should lose half of a pound each week. It's a slow weight loss, but I don't want to risk messing with my breastfeeding.

You probably have noticed that I haven't talked about exercising. I am not factoring that in too much, because I don't exercise that much. I get on the treadmill a bit during lunch at work, and sometimes on the weekend, but that's it. During my maternity leave, I would take Shelby and Ben for long luxurious walks, but those are only on the weekends now.

So here we go! I am basically like - can I start tomorrow please? I bought some chocolate croissants for my book club meeting and there are some leftovers at home....NO! I start now!

 *I am obviously being a bit sarcastic here. It is awesome having a good-lookin' husband. I am just jealous. I love that he is motivated and doing something that makes him feel good about himself.


  1. My experience has always been that it takes a year to completely get back to your pre pregnancy self, I actually found that I held onto about 10 lbs when I was nursing, and I couldn't get rid of it no matter what I did, after I stopped breastfeeding it came off pretty easily. I think your body just holds on to it because you need some extra meat on your bones to breastfeed. Those celebs are filthy, filthy liars, it's easy to lose baby weight when you have a nanny, personal trainer and nutritionist planning your meals. (For the record, I thought you looked great when I saw you and June. Also, nice HIMYM reference. Finally I may hate Dan and Mike a little for running so much and staying so skinny) -Karen

  2. Seriously. It's like they are trying to be annoying.

    I hope you are right about the extra meat thing. I am worried that once I stop breastfeeding, it will be even worse because I won't be burning those extra cals. But I feel like I have heard that too - that some extra stays on while nursing. All my extra is on my damn stomach.

  3. Your story sounds familiar! We're about the same height, so our numbers are similar. I was down to 120 when I got married and have never weighed that little again since. After my third child, I've stayed around 150 or so. I do not like to diet, although I am okay with generally eating healthy meals so long as I can still get my dessert. I am not great at exercising, but I have started to go to yoga, pilates, and/or the swimming pool. I can tell you that the way I got back to my pre-pregnancy weight after the birth of my first child was to lose 25 pounds in the first trimester from being sick, such that my weight gain of 30 pounds only put me 5 pounds net at birth. And you need 2-4 pounds extra per breast to carry breast milk right now. Thus, if you keep up to 7 or 8 pounds extra, it's likely all in your chest and just affecting your cup size. :) But I wasn't able to repeat the miracle of weight loss after my subsequent children, so I don't have any real advice.

  4. Melissa - I like my dessert too! Another thing that is a bit restrictive about breastfeeding while dieting is I have to be careful about the amount of fake sugars I take in.

    Boob weight! I totally forgot about that. I'll be happy when they get a bit smaller. I was already on the bigger side, so they seem pretty huge to me right now ;)

  5. Ah... the miracle of childbirth and then the defeat of weight loss. Actually, I think there is is good news and just news. The good news is that you were able to maintain a healthy and pleasing weight to your satisfaction pre-pregnancy! This will most likely be the case your whole life. When you lose the baby weight, you should be successful at maintaing it just as you did pre kiddo with a little self sacrifice. As if it were that easy, but it will happen with time! The old adage of it took 9 months to put on the weight actually rings true. Even if it all came off in the first couple of months it takes a while for everything to move back in place and your body to adjust. The bad news or just news is your body WILL be different. I have found after a recent weight loss ( we won't dwell on the fact my "baby" is 8) that the number on the scale doesn't look the same on my body. Pre- children, I weighed this amount but now things are just different sizes in different places! Most of these are changes that just I notice, but I DO notice! So... I want to lose a little more and tone up. It's a lot harder every year you get older and after every child. Even the celebs think so they just don't admit it! Look at Brittney Spears or Jessica Simpson for instance? Your personality and character if you will, actually come into play now too. Now that you are a Mommy you are a role model to your child. Yes, he is a baby right now but they grow so fast and take in so much that isn't even spoken! I try to think about how I look or sound around my kids about diet and exercise. I don't want to sit at the table and not eat or have some silly alternate meal with them. Taking walks and exercising is such a good example for them too. I want them to make good choices and have balance. No matter what their body pre disposition or phase I want them to be happy and accepting of themselves ( of others too). So I try...
    I know you won't have a problem but its something to consider and it helps!
    Kids love you no matter what! They even tell you things that no one else will dare. Mine once told me that my belly was like a soft pillow. How sweet :) Even with a little sagging and maybe side boob and the ever annoying love handles Dan will always think your are beautiful! Just buy a good bra, put on some spanks and crank Aretha Franklin "Natural Woman" on date nights!

    1. Sis - A soft pillow! Haha! I want my body to be extrememly uncomfortable. Like a rock with spikes or something. ;) Thanks! You really put into perspective. I definitely want to be a good role model for Ben!